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This isn't something I realized today, but many days before.
I'm weak-minded and I have a weak heart . It's such a downfall , and I want to fix this issue as soon as possible. I get very obsessed with the feeling of romance and just the simple affections the opposite sex provides (usually it's a momentarily thing).

The reason why I decided to vent about this on my blog is because I just finished watching this one episode of a korean drama while working on some new brooches (which will be on sale soon !) . This episode ended with an unexpected kiss and left that episode hanging. I felt touched. How pathetic ..... IS THAT! It's very pathetic.
Not only this happened, but this week I have experienced many arguments and normally people wouldn't get TOO upset with minor arguments or simple opinions in general. With me and my weak mind... of course I got offended to many of these arguments. How am I supposed to live on with a mindset such as mine.

People like me , who are sensitive, short-tempered , stubborn, and weak-minded are not meant to associate with this world . The society acts the same, thinks the same way too much, and are careless. Lucky for them, they don't have a difficult time living their lives. I sometimes wish I was born as a rich, uncaring asshole that felt nothing but the pleasures of money and myself, because life would be easy , so easy to live. But at the same time,living my current life is more defining and leaves me with a more curious mindset with an indefinite future that I have to create by choosing these difficult paths in this fucked up world. Also feeling these strong fucked up emotions throughout my personal life. Only certain people can also feel mutual about this entry, just certain individuals.

I don't know where this entry is leading..but what initiated me in writing this entry in the first place was feeling sensitive to that unexpected kiss scene in that korean drama.

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Alright, my plans in uploading my blog everyday always fails.
i WILL RETURN SOON

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There are many things I want to do for myself in the future.

I can't sleep till I list this all down somewhere. This has been floating in my mind for the past 2 hours and it's frying my brain. It's been frying my worthless brain because I know majority of the interests I'll be listing within the next 5-8 minutes won't happen. Maybe I'm stating it won't happen because I'm scared and lazy. I want someone's opinion on this entry . Am I being lazy or it's just too many things for me to handle ?

1) I want to be a great productive artist that'll become successful and be some-what known in the states /Korea. A non- greedy ,motivated artist that really cherishes the time in the world to create the work. I want to be successful enough to earn a living and not receive any money from my parents, but instead giving them money .Also, to live comfortably and selfless.

2) I want to create and direct a film piece. This is something I've wanted to do since high school but haven't even started writing any sort of script . While growing up and watching movies that I admire till today made me want to do this.

3) I want to act. It's weird . After watching 'Ghost World' and 'Welcome to the Dollhouse' , I conceived this thought of acting .

4) I want to form a serious band and make music.

5) I want to be fluent in korean and live there for at least 2 years , maybe getting an art job there .

6) Buy my mother a grand transparent KAWAI piano and buy my father a beautiful gold trumpet .

7) travel .

This entry helped me organize my thoughts by 30% .
It still makes me unhappy because I don't know what I'm going to be or be doing in the future . The future is too soon. In 3-4 years ,I'll have to be ready , which is terrifying .

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I found a beatles CD on top of my TV around the age of 7 . It was wrapped . I wanted to listen to the CD but I didn't. I thought it was still wrapped for a reason so I hesitated. I wish I listened to that CD . I wish I had enough motivation to unwrap that CD. I was listening to the beatles about 20 minutes ago and thought about this crucial moment in my past. This is considered a crucial moment for me personally, because I had the opportunity to listen to better music at a young age. I unfortunately did not take that opportunity.

EDIT_

www.flickr.com/photos/circlenose
^ uploaded new and old artwork .
I got my XL smiths shirt today in the mail . I resized the shirt with Holly's sewing machine. I think it came out pretty decent. I also watched Chumscrubber with her tonight. Made a new song with lyrics. I hope it doesn't sound dumb to others.

Arthur